WRITE IT WEDNESDAY – Fifteen Facts about ME (I only made it to the first one my list)
I’m a Daughter – I am a daughter… I have had a couple of questions since my last Wednesday post and typing, I am a daughter, just opened up HUNDREDS of emotions. It’s been a long couple of months and seeing myself type, I am a Daughter….???
My mom is 88 years old and recently fell, a week in the hospital and 4 weeks in rehab. I learned a lot about me… Funny it’s about me and not about her. I have said for YEARS that, “I want to be a daughter.” Plain and simple, “A Daughter.” Not so plain and NEVER simple.
Mom would not come home with Husband and I, or into a home of some kind, she is in her home. I HAD to give up 100 percent of all control. And it’s been SO…..hard for me. (I’m the one who has a list of the lists I make) We have services and helpers etc. The conversation about a “help button” turned into me saying, “it’s that or assisted living” but I’m still on a daily drive over and lots of phone calls.
In all this process my Mom has and will NEVER change. That’s my Mom, she was a 1960’s-70’s-80’s working woman and always put that first. (Looking back even over my father) I remember when my Grandmother moved it with us (my older sister married, she had been on call before that) and I then understood….time. They both gave me time.
It’s funny at my age, 59, when she doesn’t notice a new haircut or doesn’t acknowledge my work, (Ever…) I am upset and try to think somewhere inside her she has to gets it?? But, I really don’t think so.
What I’ve learned, prayer and talking with God is my go to happiness. The saying, “I think I can” runs through my head when cleaning up a mess or accident (better than, “don’t throw up, don’t throw up”) and Husband letting me be 100 percent honest, when I just need to say things I feel in your heart, but they just don’t sound very good coming out of my mouth.
I am a Daughter – Well, I started in our 59th year of our relationship, but….I think I needed this…Write it Wednesday ! I will TRY the next 14 facts about me next?? Hopefully without as many emotions.
If you made it this far…thank you for letting me talk. This is what I need this site to be about…www.bethanndoing.com
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