getting old Archives - Beth Ann Doing

Things here have been a little bit crazy and I’m hoping for a bit of calm to settle over us. At times it still seems crazy, but I’ve adjusted or accepting a bit better lately. Read Last Month Part One

I have heard a lot this past month or so about empathy, and you are under the opinion I have none. And, as I’ve politely tried to say and will say here in my own way, bullshit.

Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within the other being’s frame of reference, i.e., the capacity to place oneself in another’s position.

And really I do get it….but, I’m moving through survival mode. My way is, look and solve the problem, see what is needed and what HAS to be done. I can’t seem to find empathy at those moments, but isn’t that empathy too, getting it done?

Long ago, a Hospice worker said to us, “Nothing but the truth is to be spoken from this time forward.” I hear her saying that in the back of my mind so often. It’s also a pretty good way to live one’s life.

As we settle in, the work has not stopped. The daily needs of life still have to be taken care of. I have learned to ask for help, to understand it’s alright to take time for me and that life becomes all about potty and poop. And, or the cleaning up of it.

Lessons learned.

Ask the VERY hard questions, of yourself, of others, of services. EVERY thing you can think of, ask the questions.
I had to fire the first service we had started. It was about Mom and what was best for her, not them, HER. This is where I have no empathy, it’s the momma bear in me.
Everyone has an opinion and I do just what I think is best. I listen, I thank them, but we (Mom and I) talk it over and do what is needed.
Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feelings with the heart of another and I like to add, ONLY after all the work is done.

I’ve learned to cry often (a hot shower is designed for that), WE laugh often and I NEVER fight or argue with her. Why…life always comes down to potty and poop.

Please be kind…or don’t leave a comment